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Scales are just silly.  I get that we use them as a unit of measurement. But are we always measuring what we are supposed to? I mean they are just meant to tell us the mass of an object right?

I threw my scale away so my daughters would know they are beautiful. Mommy fails and I fall prey to my magnetic beauty teller…my scale. My view is tilted. I see stretch marks from babies. Gooey love handles. A mushy stomach. Thighs that jiggle. Arms that ache from lifting heavy children and laundry baskets. A scale that says I am to heavy.

I have two beautiful girls that will watch me for the rest of my life. I am their role model, their beauty teller and not that scale. It’s time I learned that.

I will admit I am conscious of my imagine, my health and those around me. I fall prey to comparing myself. I was that fat girl in high school and somewhere around the 10th grade I got sick of it. I ran every day, stopped eating junk and lost 50lbs.

Funny thing is after loosing weight, I went from one end to the other.  Even 50lbs lighter my beauty teller was still telling me I wasn’t beautiful enough. Logically if i just don’t eat and exercise a lot it will solve all my problems.  Right! Wrong, dead wrong!

It was magnetic and I couldn’t stay away. In some ways I was looking to this small electronic number portrayer to tell me I was beautiful. It dictated my life. I would play a game and see if I could weigh less in the evening after I had eaten and exercised all day.

Then I got pregnant and had babies! Three babies later and things just aren’t the same as they used to be. I found myself gravitating towards that electronic beauty teller…my scale once again. Like everyone knows how much I weigh or how big my pants are…psh. Throw in blogs, articles, Pinterest, social media and the education on healthy foods and sometimes it is just too much!  The difference this time is I have little eyes watching me.

They see me stand on the scale and they want to do it to. Now it’s fun and innocent but for my girls it won’t always be. They watch what i eat, see me get dressed, stand in the mirror, do make up. My oldest asks to do it to. “Do you like my dress? Do you like my hair? Look what I put on? Does this match?” All questions that are really asking “Am I good enough? Did I do it just like you?” It’s time I figure out for myself and show them the scale doesn’t matter…they do.

I love that people want others to be healthy and truth is if you are reading this blog I want you to be healthy too. I love reading about different foods, health initiatives, and things to improve your health. I get caught up and it’s too much. Cutting things out means eating it will make me fat so I should just not eat it all together.  I don’t ever want my daughters to see this or think like me.

I hear my oldest. “Mommy when I grow up I want to be a mommy just like you. ” This is for you.  Sweet heart I love you. I know you are watching me and you will probably read this one day. Smoothies are not lunch. You don’t have to do the latest diet, not eat dessert, or be a certain size. You are perfect and beautiful. Together we will show your little sister. So let’s bake cookies, dress up, go shopping and take care of the boys together.

So the scale is gone. You won’t see me judging myself in the mirror. We will eat healthy and rounded together. Everything in moderation is best. Healthy is beautiful. I will listen to your daddy when he says I am beautiful and I won’t stress about dessert. Let’s have fun!