I was never promised easy but I do so often think that I deserve it.
I shouldn’t struggle.
My kids should obey.
My husband should agree with everything say.
The house should stay clean.
I should get my own way.
It should just be easy.
Why do I think that this should be? Why do I find myself wishing for the ease of life? For simplicity and little effort. The truth is that the season that I find myself in is anything BUT easy.
I found myself ranting on the phone the other day to a friend, tears threatening to creep in, about what life has thrown at me. The weather got colder, the germs came, and frankly they won’t go away. One kid gets sick, the others are bursting with energy, meanwhile it is to cold to send the well ones out. Caged in with chaos and germs. Locked with a dead bolt and no key, is more like it.
This bout had sent us to the doctors….again…for the 4th time in two weeks. They littlest with the flu and the biggest with pink eye. The middle one…well thankful he was on the mend at school. Until my phone wouldn’t stop ringing and the husband called to inform me that the middle one had thrown up at school. The call I ignored. Yeah. It was the school asking me to come get my beloved, sick, middle child. I couldn’t because the I was the doctors still. Thankful the hubby was able to escape from work and get him.
I can’t catch a break. That’s what I found myself ranting to my friend about. I just want it to be easy. I want it to be over.
I was never promised that.
What I was promised can be found in that wonderful book. The one I often neglect and forget about.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
This doesn’t mean that you won’t find me in the middle of my kitchen, mentally stiffening, screaming and melting to the floor in protest of what is currently going on. While watching one of my children ACTUALLY perform the very thing I wish I could do myself. But it will give me pause. Pause to remember that HE is with me. HE is God. My God. My grumpy attitude, my utter dismay, need not be. Easier said then done. It is easier to throw a fit. HE will be my strength and my help. In HIS righteous hand he will hold me. So I will remember that the best that I can.
This morning when I found my self packing up all three kids to head to the doctors…yet again, I sent out a brief sos to some friends online. Prayers are coveted. Dear Lord, please help and give me strength. I hopped in my car, started the engine and felt a peace fall on me.
It will be OK. HE is with me. I can do this.
Whatever the struggle. Whatever life has thrown. There is no promise of ease. There is the promise of a God to strengthen, guide, and hold my hand….and yours too.